Immortality is forever mine, a My immortal rewrite
by NerdoftheWorld
Summary: We all know the infamous story My Immortal, and we've most likely read or even submitted a commentary on it, but I'm, taking a whole new aproach on it. I'm rewriting it. I hope to include more details, better grammar, and try to make a better story.
1. Chapter 1

My Immortal Rewrite! Now, I know how the commentary is such a fad nowadays, so I thought I would bridge out from the normal and try to rewrite this horrible mess. Now, I know it won't be perfect, but even if you say it's mediocre at best, I will consider it a huge change from the original and take it as a compliment. Onto the story!

Hello, my name is Ebony Ravenway. I have long black, silky, hair that reaches my mid-back. My family had this type of hair for generations, so my parents assumed that I would have the same, and thus named me Ebony. It was a bet I would not be willing to take, but luckily they guessed correctly and Ebony fits me. My eyes are an icy blue (another trait from my family), and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee from the band Evanescense, which I take as a compliment, considering I love that band. I'm a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts (where else?) in Scotland, where I'm in the seventh year.

I guess you could say I'm a goth, but I hate the stereotype and preferred to be called an individual with unique interests, although I do wear mostly black. I love the store Hot Topic and I buy most of my clothes from there. For example, I was wearing a shirt with a skull made out of flowers on it, paired with ripped jeans, all under my robes, of course. I was also sporting some daring and flashy red lipstick, white foundation, and a light purple eye shadow. As I was walking outside Hogwarts on my way to Herbology, it started raining. I quickly grabbed my umbrella, opened it, and kept on walking. Obviously there was no sun, which I was quite happy about, considering I burn easily. A lot people from different houses were staring at me, so I just gave them all a quick sneer, and kept walking.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was Draco Malfoy, the Casanova of Slytherin (I'm in this house if you hadn't figured it out all ready from context clues).

"What's up, Draco?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Nothing, just waiting for a pretty girl like you to come around." he said, giving his trademark smirk. I was about to give a retort, but I heard my friends call me and I had to settle for a quick glare.

Please tell me whether I should keep writing or not, because I'm not entirely sure whether this is good or not. Hmm…


	2. Ch 2

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!  
><strong>Haha, no one cares. If you need reference to the actual story, supposedly the actual author is reposting it. It only has the first two chapters up, but since this is only the 2<strong>**nd**** chapter, it works out nicely. Just search "Mi Immortal". **

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was still raining. Well, that's what you should expect from a northern country during late fall. I opened the curtain and drank some beer from the cans I had. Ahhh, sinful! Well, I don't care. My bed had different sheets from the rest of the dorm, thanks to my parent's strongly worded note to the school. They believe that children should have their individuality. Lucky me. Currently, the bed sheets were black, with pillow cases of the same color, but with hot pink polka dots. I stepped onto the floor, and took off my giant MCR t-shirt which I use for pajamas. Instead, I put on a lacey black and white dress over black and white striped leggings, a worn leather jacket, a sparkly (problem?) skull necklace, and combat boots. I put some earrings on, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow woke up then and grinned at me. She shook her head, as if to get tangles out, and then flipped her hair behind her shoulder. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt (I personally think the guy's a freak) with a black pair of jeans, and high-top converse. "So, I saw you talking to Draco yesterday." She said, raising her eyebrows. "Yeah, so?" I said, being annoyed slightly. Everybody knew that Malfoy was the handsomest guy in Slytherin, but was also a big player.

"Do you like him?" she asked as we started out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"Oh yeah, like I would fall for him!" I replied sarcastically. I looked over, and saw Malfoy staring at me. I gave a slight smile. What was I thinking? He would just plow right through me and onto the next girl!

" Well, yeah, he's hot!" she exclaimed. She doesn't understand. Just then, Malfoy walked up to me. "Hi." he said. "Hi." I replied, cautiously. "Guess what?" he said. "What?" I asked exasperatedly. "Well, the Weird Sisters have a concert in Hogsmeade this weekend." he told me.

"Oh my god, really? I love them!" I replied, all signs of caution vanished from my mind. I love the Weird Sisters, as I said. Their music really rocks, and they're one of the coolest bands in the Wizarding community. It takes nearly forever to get a ticket, and they cost at least 150 galleons.

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked, an eyebrow raising, and a smirk nearly forming on his face. Ummm, what?

**Okay, what do ya'll think? Omigod, I'm never going to use "ya'll" again. *Shudder*. Leave a review. Tell me what you think. Lead me on my way to internet fame!... not really. But do please leave a review. They make me smile. Like that.**


	3. Ch 3

Draco kept staring at me with a smirk on his face all day, and during potions the next day. 'He just won't leave me alone until I answer his question.' I sighed, and went over to his table, surrounded by his cronies. "Problem, Ravenway?" All the other girls just stared at me with jealous expressions. I glared at him. "Can we speak privately?" I said through clenched teeth. "Oh, everything you have to say can be heard by my friends." Oh, that little bastard. "I must insist we speak somewhere else." I said, quickly losing my patience. All that little snake did was smile. I swear, if looks could kill, this would be a double homicide. I would be dead, at the hands of the other girls in the room. The other would be Draco, at the hands of me. "Really. By ourselves." He raised an eye brow, and then said in a smooth, silky voice, "Really. Right here." Goddamn that man. "Fine! I will go with you to the concert!" Now the other girls were advancing on me, and Malfoy had a stupid, bemused smile on his ugly, little face. "Oh shit…" I said quietly.

"Miss Ravenway, it would do you well to sit yourself down. One point from Slytherin." Oh crap, the bat's here. Yes I call him a bat. It fits Snape.

The few days before the night of the concert, I kept getting death glares from multiple people. Mostly girls. Yes, I said mostly.

On the night of the concert, I put on my green and silver (surprise, surprise) high-tops. Underneath them were tannish leggings. Then I put on the leather jacket and scarf over my dress, and straightened my hair. I felt a little nervous. I mean, I'm going on a date with the friggin' Casanova of Slytherin. Oh, yeah, I'm absolutely _ecstatic_. I listened to some Weird Sisters music. It seems to calm me down. I put on my make-up, but I won't bore you with _those _details. Oh god, it was time to go to the concert.

I went outside. I was glad that I wore the jacket and leggings. It was COLD. Like, freeze your toes off cold. Draco was waiting there in front of the gate. He was wearing a plain t-shirt, muggle (gasp!) jeans, and a wool button-up overcoat.

"Um, hey Draco." I said in a bit of an awkward voice. "Hi Ebony." he said back, actually wearing a genuine smile. How is that possible? I mean, he's Draco Malfoy. We headed out of the Hogwarts gate, and onto the wet trail to Hogsmeade. I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going, admiring the beauty of fall, and I slipped. Luckily, Draco caught me. "Walk much?" he asked, his facing giving way into a smile. "Yeah, it's just slippery out." I couldn't really make a good comeback when you were staring into his gray, icy eyes. 'Woah, snap out of it Ebony. You're only here for the music.' Soon, we were at the concert.

As soon as the music started, the screaming began as well. I could barely hear the music.

"Can you dance like a hippogriff?  
>Na na na na na na na na na<br>Flyin' off from a cliff  
>Na na na na na na na na na<br>Swoopin' down, to the ground  
>Na na na na na na na na na<br>Wheel around and around and around  
>Na na na na na na na na na"<p>

After that a slow song came on. I think it was Magic Works. Quite a drastic change from the previous song.

"So, believe  
>That magic works<br>Don't be afraid  
>Of being hurt<br>Don't let this magic dies  
>The answer's there<br>Oh, just look in her eyes

And make your final move  
>Don't be scared, she wants you too<br>Yeah, it's hard, you must be brave  
>Don't let this moment slip away..."<p>

Before I knew it, Draco and I were dancing. Us, dancing. Together. Oh, how times could change. "You know, this song is beautiful." Draco said. "Yeah, no shit, Sherlock." I retorted. "Sherlock?" He asked, a bit confused. "Oh, a muggle thing." He glanced at me, and rolled his eyes. "I love this band. They're so amazing. The way they compose everything, and you can't beat bagpipes." I said, trying to change the subject. "I make music, as well." Draco replied. "Well, you certainly can't be as good as them. I mean, seriously". Draco looked away, and I filled with regret. 'I just insulted him. Flat out insulted him.'

"Um, you know, I'm sure you're still pretty amazing. What instrument do you play?" I asked, trying to console him. Then I realized something. It's not that he was insulted; it's that I like _them_ better than _him_. Honestly, Draco can be such a child sometimes. "Malfoy, are you seriously upset about the fact they _may_ be better than you? Even if they are, you're still a great person. Sometimes."

"Really?" asked Draco, "Because, many people say that I'm a twat, that I'm a daddy's boy, that I am such a goody-two shoes."

"Well, that's why I put sometimes after it."

"Boy, that helps."

"You're welcome."

The rest of the night was actually fun, and I had a great time. I assume that Draco did too. After the concert, I realized how late it was. "Draco, we have to get back!" I said in an urgent voice. "It's okay, I have special arrangements." He replied smoothly. "Um, where? I don't want to spend my night in a tent during the fall." He looked at me surprised, and then shook his head. "Of course not. I have a room booked at the Three Broomsticks."

"Do you mean two?"

"No just one." I stepped away. "For the both of us?" I asked. "Yep." Oh god. Draco took my hand, and led me to the inn. Crap. Me and him. Together alone. What could go wrong?

**Ok, what do you think? I'm sorry that I don't update frequently, but I'm bad at keeping commitments. I hope you liked it. And yes, for those of you who have read the original (god bless you), I realize I took some liberties with my version. A **_**lot **_**liberties. R&R!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hiya. I'm back! Heh… no excuse for this late update, but whatever. Oh god, wish me luck fixing this absolute mess.**

So, me and Draco. One room. More importantly, one _bed_. Oh joy.

"So, here's the plan. I take the couch, and you can take the bed-" I start. "Ebony," he tried to interrupt me. Good luck with that. "No, I'm seriously not sharing a be-"

"Ebony."

"Draco, I'm not shar-!"

"There _may_ or may not be a couch. Heh."

"What did you say."

"I said-"

"I know what you said!"

"Then why did you ask?"

"It was a rhetorical question!" I was frustrated already, and the fact Draco was idiotic enough as to get a _one bed_ room without a couch was not helping me at all.

"I'll just have to sleep on the floor then." I replied defiantly, refusing to share a bed with that idiot. "Ebony, you can't sleep on hard wood surface, you'll get a backache," Draco said gently as he put his arms around my backside, "And besides, what could go wrong?" Oh, I don't know, _everything!_ "Come on, Ebby." He said, turning me around so I faced him. "What did you call me, you-" But before I could get out the last word, he pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was surprisingly gentle for someone like Draco. I suppose he learned how to please from his promiscuous ways. I pushed him off, but he just forced himself upon me again. Next thing I knew, I was on the bed. The rest of the night was a blur.

000000

When I woke up, I felt satisfied. And violated. Is it possible to have that mix of emotions at once? I was also lying on a bed. With Draco. Naked. "Oh lord. Not this, anything but this… I promised my parents I would wait until I was married, or at least of legal age," I felt a small rustle beside me, and was pulled into Draco's arms. "Hmm, what are you whining about?" I heard him murmur into my ear. I tried to pull away, but like last night, I was overpowered, and pulled up next to his chest. I waited until he fell asleep, and then slowly wormed my way out of his grasp.

I looked around for my clothes, but could find none. Well, not any that were usable, anyway. I considered taking his clothes, but that would be too cruel, even for someone as horrid as him. Sighing, I resigned to go snuggle up in the warm blankets on the bed, as far away from Draco as possible. Of course, this wouldn't be possible, as the moment I set my head on the pillow; I was pulled back into Draco's arms. I swear to Merlin, that boy is like a spider or something, sensing vibrations and then going in for the kill. Well, I suppose that it wouldn't be in for the kill, more like in for the cuddle. Whatever, I was too tired to do anything about it, and just decided to curl up next to him, falling into a slumber once again.

But, of course, this didn't last for more than ten minutes, as a maid hurried in to our room, and upon noticing we were minors going to Hogwarts, she scurried out immediately to call the Headmaster Dumbledore. Oh great. _Juuuust _great. "Draco, get up," I said as I prodded him in the side. He woke up quickly, mumbling something that sounded like "Huh, watimisit? Washappenin? Arweintrouble?" Rolling my eyes at his ignorance, I said "Yeah. We're screwed." Chuckling, he replied "Obviously. Do you even remember last night?" Punching him, I yelled "You idiot! A maid is going to get Dumbledore this moment! Do you ever take anything seriously?"

"Nope,"

"_Obviously,"_ We continued to verbally spar, until the door burst open with Snape, Mcgonagall, and Dumbledore all wide eyed, staring at us.

"We screwed?" I heard him ask in a soft voice. "Definitely," I replied, in the same tone.

**FINALLY! Sweet Celestia, that took forever. Not literally, but you know what I mean. Sorry if I update late again. I don't do well with long term projects. I'm quite the procrastinator. **_**Quite**_**. Well, as always, R&R, because those are like food for the author.**


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